Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sarah has hit the terrible 2's!

I knew it was inevitable, but it's for SURE now.


To make a long story short, i carry the girls EVERYWHERE!  Yes, i'm a SU-KER!  I worry that if i don't, they'll dart off in a parking lot, so better to be safe than sorry, right?  SO, today i was feeling brave and the parking lot at MDO was empty.  SO, Hannah and I picked up the girls and i decided to make them walk out to the car, holding my hand.  THAT was NOT a good idea.  Sam is pretty laid back and will do whatever i want, as long as she gets a reward at the end.  SARAH is NOT that easy to please.  We were walking out of the room and both girls were literally hanging on my legs, yelling "UP, UP"!!  BUT, i was NOT going to give in and i could see that all the teachers were watching.  In my mind i was thinking "yeah, YOU take some notes, just in case God plays a little trick on YOU TOO!"  LOL!  Totally kidding!  But either way, i stood my ground.  I mean literally Stood my ground..and Sarah was not having it.  I pretty much dragged her to the car as she hung to my leg.   I felt like such a HORRIBLE mom.  But i know i did the right thing, because if you give in, they'll assume your going to give in each time and that's not what i wanted.  SO, we got all the way to the door to the parking lot.  It gets tricky here because i can't just walk off and leave them in the parking lot screaming(as i had secretly wanted to do at the time).  SO, i held their hands and physically tried to walk them to the car, all the while, watching to make sure Hannah was with me and not running out in the middle of the parking lot. Thankfully, she's really an angel and such a great child.  Anyway, we get two steps outside the door and my sweet little angels LAY DOWN in the parking lot.  YES, I'm serious, they LAID DOWN in the driveway and would NOT get up until i picked them up.  I slowly drug them towards my car..holding on tightly to one hand of each child.  I was actually giggling under my breath the entire time, because i'm 110% sure i looked like a FOOL!  Dragging my poor sweet children through the parking lot b/c they DID NOT want to walk to my car...they still wanted "UP..UP"!  Anyway, we finally get to the car, after a few cars stopped to ask and see if i wanted help(which of course, i said No thank you, just trying to get the girls to walk to the car instead of me carrying them like a child that can't physically walk, themselves).  Anyway, we get to the car and i was able to coax Sam into getting into the car with Barney and snacks.  NOT SO LUCKY with Sarah.  She was SOO mad at me by then she was pitching the biggest fit i have ever seen in my life of parenting children thus far.  She wouldn't get in the car, didn't want me to pick her up and honestly looked like a child i had nabbed on the way out of a store, that wasn't actually my child.  Yes, it was really THAT bad. 

All i could think was...What a bad parent i looked like as i tried to get her into her car seat.  I literally wrestled her and physically kept shoving flalling arms into the car seat as the other would fly out.  I would shove her waist down to get her to sit and she would arch backwards in order to get out of the car seat.  All the while, the rain was coming down.  I fought and fought with her to no end.  My sense of humor kicked in by then and i was seriously laughing at what i must have looked like wrestling this 24 lb child and trying to get her into her car seat.  Finally, about 20 minutes into this knock down drag out, a lady i've met a few times walked up to the car laughing and said, "i'm SOO glad i'm not the only one going through this".  I started laughing and as she was talking Sarah was watching HER and i was able to snap that car seat as fast as ever!  AMEN to my sweet babies being scared of people.  The nice lady then walked off laughing as Sarah started SCREAMING at the top of her lungs like i had just cut off her arm.  YAHOO, i could finally relax a bit and leave.  I got in my car with her screaming at the top of her lungs and giggled.    LOL!  I can't even imagine what i looked like in the parking lot...but it HAD to be humorous!  At that point i got Hannah and Sam their snacks as Sarah yelled SANCK, SNACK.  I did NOT give in once again.  She didn't get a snack and she DID NOT get Barney.  She got to sit in her car seat all the way home while i told her that she should have walked out to the car like a big girl and she would have gotten her snack and Barney. 

Through this all, i have learned that i really do have to stand my ground.  When i tell them something, i have to mean it.  I have to stop catering to them to keep the peace.  I'm doing them and myself a disservice.  They are learning to totally take advantage of me.

If anyone has any great suggestions for disciplining twins..please email me.  I'd love to hear any and all suggestions b/c i'm really worried that Sarah is only beginning to hit her terrible 2's and it's going to go down hill before it gets better.  I just don't know what to do. 


rachael said...

i have no tips on discipline since this is still my biggest concern with having multiples, but i can tell you that i have heard over and over again that consistency is key. sorry i don't have more :( i am reading the happiest toddler on the block, though i am not very far into it, and they talk about toddlers not being mini adults, but mini cavemen and how their ability to deal with things breaks down when they are upset. it is interesting...

Gibson Twins said...

What I would have given to be there at that moment! I have been there a few times myself and how funny that the first thing that jumps to my mind is "omg what are people thinking- my kids are screaming like i'm beating them". Sometimes I just whisper really sternly to them "get in your carseat NOW or you'll be in time out and no Mickey". The no Mickey part usually does the trick. They are terrified of losing their Mickey during dinner LOL!

Ryan is my problem child per se- always undressing- I probably dress him in his same pair of pjs 9 times each evening before bed. It is ridiculous. Allison is not at all like that, partly because she will just make sure I know exactly what she wants and how she wants it. I'd 10x rather that than some of the knock down drag 'em out fights I have with Ryan. And seriously- who decided toddler carseats should take so long to buckle?! Ryan arches his back and gets out before I can finish buckling him in all the time.

You are not alone- not by any stretch of the imagination. And though it feels like everyone's eyes are glued to us in what we think are our bad mommy moments, most are likely other moms who've either been there, are currently there, or who will be there six months from now and think "gee i saw some lady with the same problem awhile ago". I hope for all our sake it gets better!

BoufMom9 said...

OH my! Wow! She is going to give you a run for the money!
Sorry, but I was giggling about the driveway. LOL
I have no idea what to suggest except to do what you are doing and stick to your guns!

ps I am giving you an award. It will be posting on Thurday afternoon :)

Harris Boys said...

Consistency is really the key. I've found that if I give in the boys will still continue to behave badly until they get their way. So sticking to my guns really works and pays off. I have done the whole drag my child thru a parking lot when he (andrew) didn't want to walk. I know exaclty what you went is pretty funny to think about after that fact, huh??

Missy said...

I know what you are going through! I have left a grocery cart full of groceries in the middle of Walmart (because of the same reason) & taken/dragged Emma out while Abby walked out like nothing was going on. And yes, I had to laugh about it too. Whew a 2 year old determined to be carried vs walking can throw a fit! I have a rule - like you - handle it right then and there! As soon as Emma going out of her fit throwing - Abby soon started. Abby now has taken over the sassy one. I still handle it the same way. Who knows if I am doing the right thing! I really am at a loss sometimes and then some days they are the sweetest kids. Ugh!

Annie said...

Definitely, been parents of multiples is a challenge. My girls have their moments of trouble but the only thing that we can do is be consistent. We do not let the girls take control of any situations it might be difficult but is worth it.

Keep on being yourself because you are a good mother and you have wonderful girls. Don't give up and remember I am your friend. I understand what you are going thru because as you already know my girls have also reached the terrible 2's.


Brad and Alyssa said...

I think that you did great!! Keep it up and the girls WILL learn! Sometimes it really does suck when people are totally staring at you and you are thinking that they must think you are the worst parent ever! But those are the people that either don't have kids or their kids are horrible because they didn't put their foot down.

Jamie said...

Like all the others said, consistency is key. But, with multiples I've found that even that can get tricky. Because they have this bond, a bond that helps them play off each other to get to you more!!! I don't know what it is, but multiples are GREAT at it!!!

I've done the parking lot thing a time or two as well. Where they're just refusing. and What I've had to do, is if they're in a safe place, and I have control, I simply say "we're not going anywhere until you stand up, and hold my hand." It usually takes a few minutes, and their other siblings saying "COME ON!!! We WANNA GO!" and they're up on their feet, and ready to go, and have had an attitude change.

2's are hard, and 3's are only worse. I wish you luck as you venture into this new personality with your little miss. Sometimes its just hard being a parent in general!!

Hang in there!!!

(oh, and I tagged you on my blog for a "things I value" post)

Double the blessing said...

OMG I am so sorry but this cracked me up. I can just imagine the people walking by what they must have been thinking. And it was raining, oh lordy!
I think saying what you mean and sticking to your guns is the best wya. Don't way it if you don't mean it. I see parents all the time telling their kids they are going to leave a place if they don't be good...... knowing good and well they won't leave.

Gibson Twins said...

ps- i tagged you for a meme on my blog!

Barbara Manatee said...

Sorry to hear about the meltdown!

you know the sad thing for me? I deal with behavior issues all day at work - its my JOB to teach and deal with kids with challenging behaviors and I've faced a variety of behaviors over the years - but its soooo different when its your own child -

SO many times already I've wondered "what the heck do I do with my two?" and when I ask around for advice, I hear back pretty much what I would have told a parent if they'd asked me about their kid...but I didn't think about it for my own kiddos!

Hopefully the consistency will pay off - honestly that's usually the key - its just easier said than done!!

cat said...

So if you could kindly pass on all the good advice.... My hubby has a instant cure for tantrums though - worked like a charm with The Little Miss - just do exactlty what the child is doing - copy every move and sound. They get so embaressed that they just stop.